Potty Training in Our Happy House: Overcoming Struggles

Please welcome today's guest blogger Ruth from Connecting One Piece at a Time Blog.  She provides Applied Behavioral Analysis social skill, behavioral intervention communication, and executive skill training for children.  She also serves as an advocate for the child in meetings with professionals.  She loves teaching families how to advocate for their child.   One of her goals is to help families take what the child learns in therapy or at school and figure out ways to easily incorporate it into the home environment so the child can make more progress.

A few months ago I saw a friend’s facebook post.  She shared that she was starting to potty train her youngest child.  Within a couple of days, there was another post saying diapers were gone at their house.  Let me tell you, she received lots of comments.  Her friends, me included, thought “what a mom!”  It made me look back at the ups and downs I had with potty training.  I had one “easy one”, one “hard one”, and one that I wondered if I would need to pack pull ups for college. 

If you are struggling in potty training, I want to encourage you that you have a friend.  My youngest child is 18 so it’s been a while since I’ve dealt with it at home. Now, I help others struggling with this issue particularly families affected by disability.  I’ve learned a few things along the way.

1.         Rule out any medical issues that are hindering the process.  A referral to a pediatric gastro-intestinal physician may be your first step.  Does your child have bouts of constipation and/or diarrhea? Does she hold bowel movements and soil her underwear?  Are urination accidents more common when there are bowel movement accidents? Are there food sensitivities that cause digestion problems (these are different than food allergies)? My youngest child has an autism diagnosis and digestive issues are very common with these children.  We made little progress before seeing a dr. for gastro-intestinal issues.

2.        Refusal to go to the bathroom is often more than a behavior problem.  Why?  If there is constipation, it may hurt or it may take “too long.” The child may not "feel" it.  We finally figured out that our youngest child didn’t “feel it” until it was too late.  His sensory system was underdeveloped in this regard until he was older.  The only thing we could do was keep him on a schedule.  If the child is slow to mature, the social emotional skill of transitioning from a preferred activity to a non-preferred one (going to the bathroom) may be quite a challenge for him.

3.        A powerful motivator must be found and used.  For children that have a lot of “behavior” regarding the bathroom, the motivator should be powerful and  only attainable by going to the bathroom.  Example:  if m&m’s are used as the reward, it’s important that  m&m's are only gained through going to the potty. Otherwise, they cease to be a very powerful motivator. 

4.        I think most children learn better using a multi-sensory approach.  Be careful with lots of verbalization.  Try communicating your expectations through visual schedules and picture directions. 

     You may want to have a "I’m working for" chart.   The visual may help a child stay excited about the reward. 

 This visual can be downloaded free here.  You can find more examples on my pinterest boards, toileting,visual supports, and sharing the agenda here.

 Ruth helps families through her business at One Piece LLC.  You can access her e-mail through the blog.

Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge with us Ruth!  I would love to have YOU share your Potty Training story, experience or tips with Happy House of 5 too.  Email me at Lindsey@Happyhouseof5.com today.  

You can catch up on the other posts in the series here:
Potty Training in Our Happy House: Train in 3 days
Potty Training Tips and Tools

Potty Training in Our Happy House: It's a Stage by The Koala Bear Writer 

Potty Training in Our Happy House: When ready doesn't come by Spectrum of Blessings

Potty Training in Our Happy House: Training by Personality Type from Naps and Roadmaps